Was briefly browsing one of the "Best Chef" contest TV shows.  They're always amusing because the food is ridiculous, unpalatable and mostly inedible.  There are a few exceptions among the "down to earth" people like Anne Burrell (who talks to the ingredients and makes love to her VERY palatable creations ).  However, I sat there watching a bunch of these fools "plating" their concoctions for the judges and all I could do was groan…ewwww.  One notable older female Chef was using her bare hands to portion out salad (RAW ingredients, folks)…while others in her team were wiping the edges of plates with their bare fingers and one, actually licking off the stuff before doing it to the next plate.  Migawd! Oh yeah…they all wore hair covers…stupid useless things.

All I could think was that the people who got that food, (in this case culinary Judges, though ordinarily it would be restaurant patrons like US),  just got inoculated with every virus and bacteria inhabiting the skin and colons of those "Chefs".  Ever see any of these people "wash" their hands after handling raw meats etc?  Rachel Ray holds her hands under plain running water for about 2 seconds and wipes them on a used dishtowel before grabbing some raw veggies (yeah, she loves her salads).   That's more than most of them do and it's the point at which I change the channel…usually while yelling at it. .  Of course they all want to SELL you different colored chopping blocks and knives so you can keep raw meat juice off your raw veggies.  Nothing there to account for manual contamination.

OK, I admit it.  I'm educated and trained to SEE contamination.  I'm Paranoid about food prepared in restaurant kitchens because even in the best ones the hands-on work is done by mostly clueless grunt workers who are NOT trained or monitored.  Let's not EVEN talk about fast food…that's just disasters waiting.  From the poor quality of the ingredients to the dirty kids who prepare it…just a matter of how MANY times you get sick if you eat it regularly.  French Fries get a bad rep but they're probably the ONLY thing at MacDonald's that won't make you sick…they're thoroughly cooked prior to serving and too HOT to be manually contaminated  by the great UNWASHED fast food army.  Just don't keep them as leftovers.  I would STARVE before you could get me to eat a fast food Salad…ugh!  Or ANY salad that I don't personally  prepare after thoroughly decontaminating the raw ingredients with Ozonated water (you can't wash bacteria, viruses, parasites or pesticides off raw foods…with ANYTHING, you need to kill them.  Heat, UV or Ozone work.   Don't be fooled by the old "stomach virus" myth.  Those are pretty rare.  In fact, about 95% of stomach distress (some of which is lethal) is food based…and preventable.

"Let's go out to eat!"  is a phrase that inspires me with absolute panic.  Sickest I've ever been was from a salad in a 4-star restaurant (4 of us had different entrees…we all had the same salad…we all got REALLY sick within a few hours).  I now have a list of reasonable-sounding excuses to avoid eating out.  Doesn't fool my family and friends but…yeah, they sound good enough to cover the fact that I am a bit crazy.  I can usually come up with something on the menu that will be fresh-cooked and SCREAMING HOT.  It won't be raw fruit or veggies.  Makes an interesting group dining experience when you REALLY don't want to discuss reasons for your odd choices. Such bad manners to groan while watching people chow down on semi-cooked meat and raw foods.  You'd think they would learn to just not ask me to eat out…but nooooo.